Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: From Riverside Health System. This is the Healthy youy podcast where we talk about a range of health related topics focused on improving your physical and mental health. We chat with our providers, team members, patients and caregivers to learn more about how to maintain a healthy lifestyle and improve overall physical and mental health. So let's dive in to learn more about becoming a healthier you.
Have you ever checked in on everyone but struggled to check in on yourself?
This episode is for you.
Mental health conversations are becoming more common, but for many men, opening up about how they really feel can still be one of the hardest things to do.
Today we're talking about men and mental health, why these conversations matter, what often goes unspoken, and how we can start changing that.
I'm Frankie Myers and this is Healthy U. Where we break down everyday health topics and introduce you to experts helping keep our communities well.
Joining me today is none other than Dr. Ryan McQueen, my favorite, a board certified psychiatrist with Riverside Mental Health and Recovery Center.
Welcome, Dr. McQueen.
[00:01:19] Speaker B: Well, thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: Yes, yes, it's my pleasure to get us started. Tell us a little bit about yourself and a little bit about the Riverside Mental Health and Recovery center. And more importantly, how did you end up in this field of medicine and what does your day to day practice look like?
[00:01:37] Speaker B: Okay, all right, those are good questions. So just like Frankie said, my name is Ryan McQueen.
I am a general and a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
A little bit about myself, Most people know I was born here at the main Riverside Hospital, did training in Winston Salem, North Carolina, Wake Forest, actually went to Hampton University for undergrad, VCU for med school, then go camp. Exactly, exactly. And then decided I wanted to come back home because one seafood, two the beach. And then this community has helped me out a lot growing up.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: Right.
[00:02:09] Speaker B: So why not come back and you know, try to help the community that raised you?
[00:02:12] Speaker A: I like that. Get back to your community. So how did you end up in psychiatry or psychiatric medicine?
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Right. So it's not a long story, but interestingly enough, I went to medical school and hated every rotation. Third year, right. Could not stand it. Finally got to OB GYN and said, I think I could kind of do this.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: Right.
[00:02:34] Speaker B: Then I got to psychiatry and I said, I think this is a lot better.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:02:38] Speaker B: So I think the one thing that really changed my mind about psychiatry, there was a kid that I was working with when I was in med school. I was a third year medical student and he wouldn't talk to anybody. He wanted to leave the hospital but wouldn't talk to Anybody. So we couldn't discharge him.
So I told my preceptor, I said, hey, can I take him to the gym? I don't know why they let me take him to the gym. It was just me. Nobody else went with us. And we sat there, we played one on one basketball for an hour and a half, and during that hour and a half, got everything out of him that we needed to get out of him to understand what was going on with them.
Went back and told my attending at that time and then decided. I said, you know something. I said, this is something that I want to do.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Wow. So you had the ability to connect. I did with him. That's. That's an awesome story. Yeah. I knew I couldn't do OB as a nurse and I knew I couldn't do psychiatry.
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Really.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: I needed one myself.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: We can change that. We can change that. You come on over to our.
[00:03:36] Speaker A: But you know, when you know, it's just. You just. It's just a knowing. Yeah. It feels like home. Right. So I get that we're seeing more conversations around men's mental health, which I think is great because we don't always have that conversation, which is incredibly important. So help create an environment where men feel supported and able to talk openly. How do you do that in your role?
[00:04:02] Speaker B: So generally, what I do, especially day to day, of course, you want to talk to people generally one to one. So that's what I do. The other thing that you want to do is to create a safe space for them and to let them know what they're talking about in that space is between you and them. Now, of course, generally, if it's like a mother talking to their son or a father talking to their son, of course you want people to understand that. And same thing with me, that if there's something that's dangerous going on, if somebody's threatening you or you want to hurt somebody else, or you want to hurt somebody, those are things that you need to reach out for, to get help with. But one of the big things is to be.
It's not always about being empathetic. Sometimes it's just about listening, because not everybody needs something that you need or needs to have everything that they're talking about fixed at the moment. I'll give you an example. I was talking to one of my friends one time and he was giving me all this information and I'm trying to fix the problem. And he stopped and he looked at me and he said, ryan, he said, I don't need you to speak. I Just need you to listen.
And sometimes it's just a matter of creating that space where people can listen.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: I have that problem. I want to fix everything.
And you're right. You just need a place where you can be vulnerable. And I think that's so important.
It's feeling safe enough in an environment to be able to do that, which I'm sure can be challenging for not only men, but all of us. It can be.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: It definitely can be. I mean, it's interesting. In the hospital, from day to day, if I'm sitting down and I'm talking to another male or something like that about what's going on with them. They don't know me from Adam.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:38] Speaker B: I literally just walked in the room. You've got to develop that trust with people for them to be able to tell you what's going on so that you can help them.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: Absolutely. And if I haven't seen it any differently.
[00:05:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:05:47] Speaker A: I'm only. I'm a byproduct of my experiences. Right.
[00:05:52] Speaker B: That's very, very true.
[00:05:53] Speaker A: Yeah, for sure. All right. What can happen over time when those conversations or outlets are not there? I can only imagine.
[00:06:03] Speaker B: But, you know, it depends on the person.
Some people isolate, you know, they'll withdraw from society, they'll withdraw from family. They'll kind of. Kind of fall to within themselves. More people. I won't say more, but some people become irritable. Some people become agitated. Some people decide that, hey, I'm just not going to work anymore. I've seen that happen before from the isolation. So those are some of the main things that we see happen, and then other things that we see sometimes, like when I say irritability and agitation, some people will act out, and then that's when they become sometimes a danger to themselves or to others. And those are things that you definitely have to be concerned about.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: I'm gonna pose this question, and if you want me to come back to
[00:06:45] Speaker B: it,
[00:06:47] Speaker A: sometimes people or I've interacted with people that think trauma is like a motor vehicle accident or something like that. But there are emotional and psychological traumas. Right. Based on your experience, that can trigger a person to show up in a certain way or behave in a certain way.
Sometimes we have to really understand that and dig a little deeper.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Right, right, you do. And I mean, we've had everything from traumas from somebody was caught in a house fire to. I mean, if you think about it, even with kids, sometimes people are bullied.
[00:07:17] Speaker A: That's enough of a trauma or abuse, Right?
[00:07:19] Speaker B: That's enough of a Trauma. And the thing is, it's not how we perceive it, it's is how the person who's experiencing it perceives it. If they perceive it as a trauma, then it's a trauma.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Yeah. And I've seen some of the school systems now putting psychiatrists and therapists in the school setting because they're discipline these children, but they're not understanding the trauma. And so the problem doesn't get resolved.
[00:07:40] Speaker B: Exactly. I worked in a school system when I was in residency and that was one of the biggest things that we talked about a lot.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: Yes, yes, yes.
So when you talk about men's mental health, what are some of the most common mental health challenges you see for men?
[00:07:57] Speaker B: So I would say probably the biggest things for men. Depression, there's anxiety. We see a lot of bipolar disorder, especially in the springtime of the year.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Is that like what they call it? Seasonal?
[00:08:08] Speaker B: It can be seasonal.
[00:08:09] Speaker A: Right.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: So people with bipolar disorder, you usually have.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Now women can have that too.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: They can, right?
[00:08:14] Speaker A: Can't get out shopping. There's some depression.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: Right, right, right. But you can. Women can have it, men can have it. I've even seen, I think the youngest I've seen somebody with bipolar was maybe an 8 year old boy, I think, if I remember correctly. So anybody can have it, but it may show up differently. So as to where maybe somebody who becomes manic, maybe that person likes to shop. Maybe in men you see more of that irritability, you see more of that agitation, you see more of that kind of like hypersexual behavior, people will start talking more. Or if it's depression, you go back to that isolation, being withdrawn.
Sometimes you'll see sleep issues.
People aren't sleeping enough or sleeping too much or appetite goes up and down. There's a lot of different things that can happen.
[00:08:59] Speaker A: Exactly. Is it genetic or is it environmental?
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Some of it can be genetic. So if dad had bipolar disorder, then son may be more likely to have it. If mom had bipolar disorder, son might be more likely to have it. So it does run in families, but. And that's with any mental health issue. So I know I'm saying bipolar disorder, but that is with anxiety, depression, any mental health issue. Okay, that's good information, but can it be environmental? Yes, and I'll give you an example.
So we've seen a lot, usually around, I would say, well throughout the year. But I think the last group that we had was over last summer.
[00:09:42] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:43] Speaker B: We had a group of people who went to a party. Everybody was at the same party and used Some drug there. We don't know what it was.
[00:09:51] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:09:51] Speaker B: So then you have this environmental influence to come in. And interestingly enough, we had more men coming to the facility than we had women. And a lot of the folks, because of that environmental piece, they develop psychosis.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: And then the bad thing is we couldn't get them back to where they were before they used that substance. And when I say psychosis, those are things like sometimes seeing things other people don't see, hearing things other people don't hear, paranoia. Sometimes people will feel things that other people don't feel, or they'll smell things other people don't smell. But one of the important things that I want to kind of stresses, because somebody sees something or hear something that other people don't see or hear, it doesn't mean that they're psychotic.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:10:35] Speaker B: So that's something that I just want to stress. If somebody has a trauma, then they may see that trauma replaying in their mind. So it's like a flashback.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: Right.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: It's not a hallucination.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Right. It's a flash taking them back to a real place.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly.
[00:10:49] Speaker A: That's great. That's good information.
All right.
All right. So this is where awareness really matters. What are some warning signs that someone may be struggling with, even if they're not saying it out loud?
[00:11:07] Speaker B: So some of those things that you want to look for, a few of the things that we talked about before, maybe they're worrying more anxiety has gone up. It might be that they're isolating, like isolating more, withdrawing more. If you're seeing somebody sleeping more than normal or they're not sleeping enough, sometimes you'll see people kind of pacing around, and it's like, well, why is this person walking around so much then? That could be a sign that there's. That there's something going on.
But one of the biggest things I would say is looking for that irritability, that agitation. And that goes for men, women, and children.
[00:11:40] Speaker A: Do you think numbers are truly growing or we're just having conversation and recognizing it?
[00:11:47] Speaker B: I think it's probably a combination of both. I think a lot of it may be that we're recognizing it more, we're trying to normalize it more. You have celebrities, as you very well know, coming out and talking about the struggles that they're having.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Everybody want a therapist, right? Exactly.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Exactly. I mean, I think we had, what, Michael Phelps a few years ago. You know, he came out and I don't know, how many gold medals does he have? He has like 10, 12 something.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: But he talked about mental health. And when you have celebrities and folks like that talking about it, it just helps to normalize.
[00:12:16] Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely.
Great stuff. What should loved ones be paying attention to? You know, you did mention some, you know, some of the signs. Not sleeping, et cetera.
[00:12:29] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:31] Speaker A: When should a family member signal the alarm?
[00:12:34] Speaker B: So I would say there sometimes where people will become so depressed or they'll become so psychotic that they're not eating, they're sleeping too much. And we have some people who literally get to a point where they really just don't move and they stop talking.
So that you don't necessarily want things to get that far. But, you know, sometimes it's difficult to get somebody to go get help or go to the emergency room in that situation.
They more than likely they'll need help.
[00:13:03] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: Other things, other times that you want to get help, if somebody is honestly talking about hurting themselves or killing themselves, if somebody's talking about hurting or killing someone else, if somebody is a danger to themselves or other people, and it doesn't have to be talking about hurting or killing somebody else, but if somebody is psychotic or manic and they've gone out, or let's use mania, for example, and they've gone out and they bought three cars, and it's kind of like, you know, this is in this person's normal behavior, or they're going out and they're sleeping with a lot of people. Just things that they don't normally do.
[00:13:36] Speaker A: Right.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: That's one of those times where you need to get help.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: And if you're not getting enough sleep, then that can cause hallucinations. Right. And different things as well.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: Hallucinations, irritability, agitation. It causes worsening anxiety, depression, sadness.
[00:13:49] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:13:50] Speaker B: I usually. I usually try to tell people, kind of think about little kids. When little kids don't sleep well, they become more irritable, rubbing their eyes, they're crying. Exactly, exactly. You get that kind of. That emotional instability there. It's the same thing with us. Wow. Same thing with adults.
[00:14:04] Speaker A: Stuff. Good stuff.
And I think sometimes people overthink what to say. Right. I just don't know what to say. So let's make it easy for them.
What would that look like?
[00:14:16] Speaker B: So it depends. It depends. I think most times what you want to do is tell people. It's like, hey, I'm here to listen. You want to tell them, or, you know, be a person that they trust so that you can sit down and literally say, hey, I want to listen. I want to help. You get through this, that you're not going through this alone. Those are probably some of the biggest things. And the other things, let's say that you say that, and you don't know what else to say. Like we said before, just listen.
[00:14:41] Speaker A: Right.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: Silence is absolutely amazing. And you would be amazed how much information people will tell you.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: Right.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: When there's silence. Because if we're silent, then the other person probably wants to talk, you know, so something's gonna come out. And you would be amazed how much information you can get from people.
So let's say we're just having a conversation. I just literally reflect back to you what you're saying, and just to show that I'm listening.
[00:15:06] Speaker A: Right.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: And then you're going to keep talking most times.
[00:15:10] Speaker A: So that's a good tip. I know for me, sometimes you want to say something, you want to respond.
So that's a good tip on how to be a great, active listener. Any other. How do. I mean, you receive a lot of information. How do you do that?
And not be thinking about what I need to respond to? Which means you're really not actively listening.
[00:15:30] Speaker B: Right, Right. I think when I was in residency, we did so much psychotherapy training, and there were times where you wanted to respond, and we would have a psychotherapist either in the room with us or in a room next door kind of watching, and you would just see the person, like, shake their head.
[00:15:46] Speaker A: If they could see you, they would
[00:15:48] Speaker B: literally shake their head. And sometimes it's just a matter of learning to just not respond. It's hard, right? It's hard. But it is hard to just sit down and listen and to not want to fix everything. But you just have to practice it.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: It's practice.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: It's practice.
[00:16:03] Speaker A: And be intentional about it.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: I'm going to use. I'm going to use those tips myself.
I want somebody to say, she's a great listener.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: Exactly, Exactly.
[00:16:12] Speaker A: I like that. All right. That's so helpful because it really just to your point, you get so much information if you listen. So it's so valuable, and we all can learn from that, even in our everyday lives. And what about men who might be listening right now?
And what's one small step they can take if they are truly struggling, but not sure where to start?
[00:16:37] Speaker B: I would say find somebody that you trust and talk to them. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. I think that's one of the biggest things that men go through, is that kind of like that manliness, that macho
[00:16:49] Speaker A: thing, and that could come from upbringing. It's certainly, men don't do this. Men don't cry.
[00:16:54] Speaker B: Men don't cry. Men don't do this. Right, right. You have to be strong.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: And the thing is, like, in my mind, men are naturally strong.
[00:17:02] Speaker A: I think it's strong when a man can be vulnerable. So we're looking for total jobs.
We want to see the balance.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: Exactly, exactly. So, like, you're physically strong, but you need to be emotionally and strong from a mental health standpoint.
[00:17:14] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:17:15] Speaker B: Of that is literally just trusting someone and sitting down and talking to people. And then once you talk to the person, like, you know something, that's not that bad. No, I can go talk to a therapist.
[00:17:27] Speaker A: Right.
[00:17:27] Speaker B: And just reach out. Reach out to a therapist. And the thing that I always tell people about therapy. And the same thing with any doctor. And men, women, kids, if you talk to this therapist for three or four times, or you come to me three or four times and you don't like me, that's okay. Find somebody else you connect with. Right. Find somebody that you're connecting with who you know will help you. It's okay. And that person should not get offended. I won't.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Yes, yes. And it. Sometimes it has to be somebody they can relate to.
[00:17:54] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: And that's okay, too.
Where would you have them start if they're looking for a therapist or psychiatrist? How. How. How should they go about navigating that search?
[00:18:08] Speaker B: Right. So there are probably a couple of ways to go about it. One, if you have insurance, you can always look on the back of your insurance call and call that mental health number, and they'll give you a list of providers that are within your coverage. The other thing that you can do, you can always reach out to our facility, Riverside Mental Health and Recovery center. Phone number is 757-82000. I mean, 8271001.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Yes. Hampton. Right?
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Hampton. Hampton, Virginia, and Hampton. Right. Over off of a Coliseum drive.
And you can literally call over there. And we have outpatient services, we have therapists, we have providers that can see you if something is going to say, I don't want to say something's going wrong. But if there's a crisis going on, you can always come to that facility and person can be seen in the emergency room, and we can either decide, hey, you know something, I understand what's going on. We think that you would be better outside of the hospital, or if you need to come to the hospital, we can make that decision too, and get you into the hospital to get faster treatment.
[00:19:08] Speaker A: Absolutely. So there's no wrong answer. Just reach out.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Right. Just reach out.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: I like that. That's great. Thank you. Why is it so important for men to see other men having these conversations? And we talked a little bit about that.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: Normalization.
It's literally normalization and normalizes it. If I'm sitting down and I can see my father talking about this, then I'm less likely to be afraid to talk about it in the future. If I can sit down with all of my male friends and we're talking about mental health things, it just makes it easier for you to talk to other people about it or for other people to come to you.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:42] Speaker B: So I think that's probably one of the biggest things.
[00:19:43] Speaker A: And I'm seeing social media be used a lot as people are sharing stories. And so it's. It's broadening the access.
[00:19:53] Speaker B: Right.
[00:19:53] Speaker A: To experience.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:19:55] Speaker A: I don't know what you think about that, but I'm seeing that it is. You do need formal. You know, you do.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: But I think. I think it's helpful. It's helpful to kind of break the ice. You're seeing other people talk about it, other men talk about. It's helpful to break the ice and you understand, like there are other people out there going through what I'm going through and let me reach out and get help. And I would say one of the biggest things on that, and you mentioned social media, is that now we have artificial intelligence. And that's been a problem for some men, women, children, because they're using artificial intelligence as a therapist. Not what you necessarily want to do,
[00:20:28] Speaker A: not just to get information, but yes, yes. Because there's a lot of isolation now.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: There's a lot.
[00:20:34] Speaker A: I have a young. A young adult child and all the games, everything is inside. So you don't get out as much and everything's at your fingertips.
[00:20:43] Speaker B: It is.
[00:20:43] Speaker A: So it is becoming more and more common.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: Right. And what you want to be aware of is that artificial intelligence may not give you the correct answer.
Not everything it says is correct. So if you're asking it a question, it may not give you the correct answer, and you don't want to do what it's telling you because it might be the wrong thing.
[00:21:01] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: If you're talking. Talking to a therapist or a psychiatrist or another provider, they're more than likely not going to tell you the wrong thing.
[00:21:08] Speaker A: Absolutely.
And what would you say to someone who is hesitant or unsure about reaching out?
[00:21:16] Speaker B: I think the biggest thing would be to find somebody that you trust. So that you can talk to them and then have. Have them help you to reach out. That's okay.
That's okay. I mean, think about. Right. Think about all the times where you have, say, young kids or somebody else comes to you, they talk to you, and you go in to help that person find help. It's the same thing, I think, in that situation.
But if you're to the point where, you know, it's like, you know something, I don't think I want to talk to anybody else about it, especially somebody that I know.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: Right.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: In that situation, you can always reach out, call 988, and they can definitely help you out, and that's a, you know, neutral party, and they'll help you out situation.
[00:21:55] Speaker A: That's good stuff. That's great information. Dr. McQueen, if someone only remembers one thing from this episode, what would you want that to be?
[00:22:07] Speaker B: One thing. I guess the biggest thing for me, especially for men, is don't be afraid to get help.
That's where your strength comes from.
[00:22:16] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:22:17] Speaker B: Your strength comes from getting help. And it's not just help for anything. Physical mental health can affect your physical health.
So reach out, get help.
[00:22:27] Speaker A: Absolutely.
Dr. McQueen, it has gone too fast.
[00:22:34] Speaker B: It's been fun.
[00:22:34] Speaker A: I have more questions, so you have to come back.
[00:22:37] Speaker B: Okay. All right, we can do that.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: But thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to come and sit down and talk with me and to support our viewers and our listeners. So if this episode made you think of someone in your life, to our viewers or even yourself, take the next step. Start the conversation, check in, reach out, and listen.
I took that away, and I gained some pearls around active listening. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who might need to hear it.
And as always, taking care of your mental health is an important part of the healthier you. Until next time, stay healthy.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Healthy Youth. We're so glad you were able to join us today and learn more about this topic. If you would like to explore more, go to riversideonline.
[00:23:31] Speaker B: Com.
